A Nanny to them All

Has anyone read this touching post on the NDFH blog? It's about Susan, one of the nannies, who fought like a mother for a little orphan's life.

There's something else that's special about Susan. She was the nanny who took care of Liu Yi in the hospital when Lindsay went to help transfer the little angel to the heart hospital.

She was also the nanny who picked Paige up from the train station, stayed with her in the hospital while she was battling pneumonia, and ultimately chose this little pixie as her "favorite."

Today she's one of the nannies who cares for Lydia. 

I work with Susan, and I can see into her heart. It's beautiful. She loves each and every one of the children here with her whole heart. She fights for them and she grieves for them. Susan must love dangerously, it's the only way she could continue doing her job the way she does.

She lost Liu Yi. She lost Paige. She fought for and has saved her Little Blessing, and our hope and prayer is that she will not loose Lydia.

Help our hope come true.

The Prayer That Changed Everything.

“Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours.”

I remember praying that prayer when I was on the plane, headed to China. Oh, I had no idea what I was really asking, and how big that prayer really was. I had no idea that God would do it.

Hannah talked about in this post that there was a decision she had to make when Paige died. Whether to turn a deaf ear to God & decide he didn’t care, or to love Him. I would be lying if I told you that after Liu Yi died, I chose to love, and to trust that He is good. The truth is that I was so angry. I didn’t want to listen to God or anyone else talk about His love and His promises and His heart. I can’t tell you the number of times I cried out to him “I LOVED her. WHY didn’t you save her?”

Just like I asked, He broke my heart. But then he took my broken heart, and pieced it back together in the most beautiful way imaginable.

The day I heard Liu Yi wasn’t going to make it was my last day at the foster home. I had to say goodbye to Julia, another orphan at New Day who I had also fallen deeply in love with. She was a dwarf, with severe scoliosis, and needed a family to call her own. I looked at her that day, and I knew God was calling me to find her a family, and bring her home. So I made her a promise I had no idea how to keep. I bent down, looked her in the eye, and with tears pouring down my face I said, “I will see you soon.”

But heartbroken and angry with God, I had decided I was going to find a way to bring Julia home by myself. I told God I didn’t need His help. When I got back to America “I” found Julia a beyond incredible family who couldn’t wait to call Julia their daughter. “I” found an adoption agency willing to look for Julia’s paperwork. (It was really all God) And while I fought for Julia, God fought for my heart.

Julia’s family was able to receive Julia’s paperwork, but was met with an unexpected deadline of needing eleven thousand dollars in two weeks in order to move forward with the adoption. My church agreed to let me speak at 5 different services to try and raise the money. All I had to do was tell Julia’s story.

I couldn’t do it. My broken, hardened heart just couldn’t find the words. For three days I sat staring at a piece of paper, trying to write my speech. For three days I shut God out. Then two days before I would stand up in front of 4,000 people, I finally relented. I was so tired of being angry, so tired of trying to do it by myself. I talked to Him for the first time since Liu Yi had died.

“God, give me the words.” And He did.

They flowed from my fingertips onto the page, detailing Julia’s joy, my journey to her, and her need for a family in a way only a Father who desperately loved His child could. As I read over the speech, knowing the words were not mine but God’s, the pieces to my heart slowly began to be put back together. Forever changed, but for the better.

I gave my speech on a Saturday and Sunday. Monday, I got the call from my church. Not only had we raised the $11,000, we had raised enough for Julia’s entire adoption. Julia was coming home. I sank to the ground in the parking lot of my school and wept.

A year later, Julia walked through the airport doors onto American soil for the first time.

And this is what I learned: Through the good and the bad and tears and laughter and the things we can’t explain and the things we may never understand; He is good. Even through my anger and stubbornness, He pursued me. Even as I fought against Him, He held me in His arms. The same arms that are now holding Liu Yi. He keeps His promises and He loves and fights for His children until they come home to Him. He is Faithful. And if you allow Him to use you… through you, He will do the impossible.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

The following post is excerpts from my journal in China. 

 

July 4^th, 2008

“She slept, cuddled against my chest, when the car stopped. We were at a different hospital, this one more crowded than the last. It was packed- and the conditions shocked me. Poor Liu Yi just slept in my arms. Amy and the nurses talked, and then the nurse came up to me and motioned for me to put her in her arms. Time stood still. I wanted to run out the door. Leave her here?! No way. But then I looked down… her fingers, toes, nails and head are blue she is so sick. So I wrapped her blanket a little tighter around her, and then very, very slowly handed her over. The nurse came back a little later, and gave me the blanket.

I’m so worried about her. She’s so precious. One of the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen. If only her heart would get better. She has the 2^nd most serious case at New Day- only a few doctors in the world can do the surgery required. I’m just praying she’s okay tonight & comes home soon….”

July 8^th 2008

“Liu Yi is having heart surgery THIS WEEK at the original hospital! The chief of staff talked with Grace on the phone and decided to expedite her surgery. Thank you God. What a miracle.”

July 16^th, 2008

“Today I went to the hospital with Ben and Peter from 8:30-7. It was a long day, but I was updated on Liu Yi! Her surgery went long- but well. They haven’t closed up her chest yet, just to make sure everything is functioning okay. I don’t want to leave…”

July 17th, 2008

"How sad I am now leaving just show’s how happy I was the past three weeks, and confirms in my heart that this kind of work is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life, so I can help all the Julia’s and Liu Yi’s around the world. No matter what their special need, they all have a joy in them that has completely changed my life. It’s like that verse, “So we do not fix our eyes on what is seen, but unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. “ Though they may have a special need now, their big personalities and strong will far outweigh it. And besides, it’s temporary. Their joy and light they bring to this world that touches so many lives around them is what I have had the privilege of seeing this week. And that is eternal."

Her Eyes

It was her eyes.

I saw her picture online, and something stirred deep within my soul. Those beautiful, almond eyes took me back four years and reminded me of the eyes of another little girl who captured my heart.

Do you see the resemblance?

Her name was Tabitha, her bio said. I read on. “Tabitha was diagnosed with heart disease (VSD, PDA, PAH).” And that’s when my heart sank.

You see, the little girl Tabitha reminded me of was Liu Yi, who also had a serious heart condition. She had been diagnosed with congenital heart disease-- PDA, PFO, enlarged heart and narrow pulmonary arteries, to be exact. And four years ago, I handed Liu Yi to a nurse at a hospital in China, not knowing that would be the last time I would feel the weight of her in my arms.

“God, please….” Was all I could manage to pray. I already assumed the worst. Then I got an email.

“It’s kind of a miracle…”, It said, “Tabitha no longer has PDA or PAH. We think she was healed on the way here.” Two of Tabitha's three heart conditions had been healed.

Oh, how little faith I have. How quickly I forget the lessons God has taught me, the blessings He’s poured out, and the miracles He performs.

Because Liu Yi’s four months here on earth were a miracle. In those four months, her every smile, every coo, every cry were all the sweetest blessings. Liu Yi’s physical heart may have been weak, but during those four months, her emotional heart knew what it meant to love before she went to rest in the arms of her Father, healed. And that is a miracle.

And now, even when I can’t find the words to form the prayer deep in my soul, God answers. He has already begun the miracles in Tabitha’s precious life.

But Tabitha is still in need of a miracle. She still needs life-saving heart surgery. She needs you.

So her blue fingers can turn pink, A miracle.

So she can learn to roll, then crawl, then walk, without having to stop to catch her breath. A miracle.

So one day, she can be placed into the loving arms of her own forever family, no longer an orphan. A miracle.

That day four years ago, I let go of Liu Yi, and ultimately placed her in the arms of Jesus.

And today, I am placing Tabitha in your arms, and asking you to help fight for her miracle.

Be A Part of the Miracle

I've heard many times, "You can't save them all."

But that should never be an excuse for not helping the one person God puts on front of you. Because that's how miracles happen. 

 Will you share this video and be a part of the miracle?

The Story of Liu Yi

Monday, she would have been four.

I was 16 years old and volunteering at New Day Foster Home, when I was asked if I would like to help bring a baby girl, Liu Yi, home from the hospital. Of course I said yes.

When I walked into the room, this was my first glimpse of her.

What I didn’t know at the time was that she had severe scoliosis, and an even more severe heart condition. I didn’t know that she was four months old, because she looked the size of a newborn. I didn’t know that she was fighting for every breath.

What I did know was this- I loved her.

And I would be forever changed because of it.

I can’t really describe how deeply I came to love Liu Yi over those next few hours. I felt as if I could physically feel my heart swell in my chest with every passing second; this love was truly God given. Liu Yi was beautiful, and amidst the pain she was in, she still smiled- a smile that not not only lit up a room, it lit up my heart. But as I held her in my arms, singing lullabies and whispering prayers over her, I noticed how blue she was. Her fingertips, feet, precious toes, and her little lips were so, so blue. She was struggling for every breath. It was in that moment that I think I realized just how sick my sweet Liu Yi was. I also realized something else.

She was not just a statistic. So often I would hear stories of orphans on TV at home, and after watching for a few minutes, change the channel. But I now understood what God had been trying to tell me for so long. These children were not just a face on a television screen. And as I held Liu Yi in my arms, struggling for her every breath…I could no longer change the channel.

She was God’s child. And God had always called me to love her… just as He loves us.

When we pulled up at another hospital I was confused. I was told we would not be returning to New Day, instead we were dropping Liu Yi off at another hospital where she would have her heart surgery. Even though it was amazing Liu Yi would finally have the heart surgery she so desperately needed, I was devastated to have to leave her. I traced her little face with my finger, wanting to remember her every feature. We got back out of the car, I wrapped her in the blanket a little tighter, gave her one last kiss, and handed her to the nurse. As we drove away… I knew I had left a big piece of my heart there with her.

That was the last time I saw my sweet Liu Yi. Liu Yi’s precious little heart was just too broken for the doctors to fix. So, as I was on my flight home to America, Liu Yi went home to heaven to be with our Father, her heart finally whole.

Loving Liu Yi hurt, and it was so dangerous. But I would do it all again in an instant. Because Liu Yi was worth it. Those four hours I spent with her will be four hours I treasure for the rest of my life. In those four hours, Liu Yi opened my eyes, and taught me how to love.

And now, in honor of Liu Yi, I am asking you to help two little girls, Tabitha and Lydia.

Just like Liu Yi, these two little girls are in desperate need of heart surgery. They need you.

Both heart surgery's combined cost $14,000. We will be raising money for the next month here on this blog, posting more stories, videos, and pictures. You can donate through the chipin button on the right sidebar. Will you help us?

By donating, you are not just giving money.

You are giving these precious baby girls a chance at life.

Because they are so worth it.

In Memory

Sweet Liu Yi, today you are four! Happy Birthday, little one. Today, I know you are playing with your Father. I cannot wait for the day when I finally feel the weight of you in my arms again. I love you.